Embracing Ambiguity

Dear Friend,

Humans have always been prone to seeing the world in black and white. Dividing the external world into polar opposites seems to make life easier to process and digest but it also prevents us from recognizing nuance which is essential to comprehension of complexity, and in current time it appears like this ingrained tendency has reached new, perhaps even catastrophic, levels. I find this quite worrisome and hope social scientists can figure out what is causing this phenomena to sky rocket and for societies to course correct so that our species can move away from constant struggle and conflict towards prosperity and long lasting peace.

For those who practice yoga and meditation this habit of perceiving things in binary opposition can be especially obstructive. The main purpose of contemplative practices is to develop an ability to introspect with clarity, this habitual tendency limits that ability tremendously, and it also restricts our potential to relate to others with compassion which is one of the keys for living a happy and fulfilling life. This illusory pattern of the human mind is considered a manifestation of avidya—often translated as “ignorance”, but more literally meaning “the opposite of knowing”, which is the root klesha—the main obstacles on the path of yoga. According to the teachings of yoga it is a major cause of suffering.

The yoga project is meant to take us towards spiritual wisdom, so that eventually as we come out of the bondage of delusion we can experience a deep sense of inner freedom. The state of avidya which is forcing us into rigid categorization into right and wrong, us and them, and so on, is often experienced as contraction, both on the level of mind and body, whereas the state of perceiving the inner and outer world as ambiguous, complex, nuanced, and multi-layered, is often felt as a spacious state, which is in harmony with reality rather than clashing with it in constant friction that stems from projecting our ideas, beliefs, and concepts onto it.

Seeing ourselves and the world around us through this lens of conflict significantly obscures our ability to get closer to seeing things as they are, it often leads to errors in judgement that translate to all sorts of negative effects, and we often find ourselves stuck in repercussions from choices rooted in misconception and confusion.

As many of you already know, the word yoga literally means “union” or "to yoke together". An effective yoga practice will inevitably counteract the oppositional view and teach us how to hold in our heart two or more seemingly opposite truths at the same time. Instead of choosing sides, we learn to be at ease in the tension of apparent paradox or conflict, and to discover wisdom and freedom there. We can explore this within the field of body, breath, and mind, and then we can easily apply it when we are facing the external world.

In order to make real progress on the path of yoga, we must inquire into our sense of self in all its complexity with mindfulness, looking deeply at the patterns and workings of our conditioned mind. We may discover some uncomfortable truths such as: that we are very often extremely subjective in our views and are easily triggered into reactive emotions, that we build a self-image or identity we go to great extent to maintain and defend, that we lean on confirmation bias more than we realize. These discoveries and others can initially be unsettling, but they can also be liberating—because once we see these automatic patterns with clarity, their grip over us subsides.

Practicing yoga means that we pay attention to these forces within us, become more familiar with how our mind responds, processes and conceptualizes, and then examine and perhaps even re-examine if it serves us well or not. We want to repeatedly discern whether our judgments reflect what’s actually happening or simply express our biases, and then see if this inquiry can help us be less susceptible to their negative impact. When we have explored this path sufficiently, we can try to hold the reality of our own mind in all its intricacy and see if that brings some positive benefits. 

The common tendency of perceiving reality in opposition, which according to yoga is a bug and not a feature of the human mind, doesn’t only affect individuals; it shapes societies in potentially devastating ways. When we reduce complex realities to “two sides”, we find ourselves easily leaning towards choosing teams, protecting identities, and fighting over simplified narratives that often revolve around some imaginary or unnecessary conflict. The pressure to pick a side can be powerful—belonging to a group feels safe and comforting, while standing outside can feel threatening and isolating. We are social creatures, we want to belong, to connect, to be part of something, and we fear isolation and abandonment.

In reality there are rarely “good” and “bad" sides, problems are almost never simple and neither are solutions. Very often people have good intentions but then act based on misconceptions. Even in rare cases when there is a pure source of evil somewhere we can be much better off if we avoid personalizing it, and look at the people who are causing real suffering to others similarly to the way we approach a hurricane or a grizzly bear. There is no sense it being angry, hateful, or even seek retribution, it is just the nature of this particular aspect of reality. If we are able to resolve a harmful situation we should definitely go for it, but taking it personally with frustration, resentment or even seeking justice passionately, doesn't serve us in any meaningful way or even help fix the problem, however it usually tends to obscure our capacity to choose a course of action with wisdom.

In many ways, yoga is the science of subjective reality, a thorough methodical exploration of our inner world that leads to profound insight into the nature of the mind and Self. Objective science needs reliable impartial instruments in order to collect unbiased data, while awareness or mindfulness which are the main instruments we use in yoga, can never be completely free of bias. However, with good practice we can reduce misperception and cultivate greater sensitivity to what is actually happening. We develop a capacity to hold multiple perspectives simultaneously which helps to see things with much more clarity. This also leads us to be more compassionate, kind and genuinely care for others, realizing that we are all in the same boat, and that most of us simply want  to live a fulfilling meaningful life, to love and be loved, belong and connect to others, and we all struggle at times to deal with the complexity of life.

This doesn't mean that we see the world through pink heart shape glasses—there are obviously those who do not want what most of us do. These people may have strong beliefs in all sorts of stories or ideas that drive them to cause harm to others. We can recognize that they are trapped in the claws of avidya which brings them much suffering, and we can hold in our heart the diverse reasons of what makes them act the way they do. This should not stop us from doing what we can to prevent them from causing suffering to ourselves or others, but at the same time we don't fall into the trap of hating them. We embrace reality, with all the shades and colors of it, with how it appears on the surface level and beyond.

On a personal level, in recent time I've been confronted with waves of hatred directed towards a social group I happen to belong to—not by choice, but by birth. I notice fear and anger arising in me which clouds my ability to comprehend all that is happening and relate to those who participate in these acts. I made several mistakes and tried to communicate to friends and colleagues that they have been trapped in a simplistic biased way of perceiving a reality which is multifaceted and nuanced, that they are stuck in patterns of their conditioned triggered mind. This obviously didn't end well, it fell on deaf ears and only made things worse. I found myself falling into the same trap and putting these people in boxes, placing them in opposition to me, using all sorts of elaborated justifications for doing so.

My practice these days is to look deeper within, to see these patterns in my own mind, and to remind myself that most of the people who seem to "get things wrong" have very good intentions but also some limitations, they are trapped in patterns of avidya to no fault of their own, just like I am at times, and then meet them with compassion, in all their complexity, even when it's difficult, even when I feel genuinely terrified that history will repeat itself in the worst way possible. This is what yoga has been for me recently, some days better than others.

~

Here is a suggestion for a short reflective practice you can do anywhere anytime to develop the ability to embrace ambiguity:

As you move through the week, notice when you feel pulled into black-and-white thinking. Perhaps it’s a disagreement, a news story or social media post, or even a judgment about yourself.

Notice the first “side” that arises—what feels right, true, or obvious to you.

Pause, Take three slow steady breaths, letting your attention settle in the present moment, and ask yourself:

• What other perspectives might exist here? 

  Gently inviting in the opposite perspective with an open mind.

  You don’t need to agree with it or endorse it—just allow it to be present alongside your own.

• Am I reacting from habit, or responding with awareness?

• Can I hold two ideas in my heart at the same time without rushing to resolve the tension?

These short reflective moments can open the door to coming out of habitual labeling or "opiniating", they help train the mind to move beyond opposition and toward seeing things as they are, with openness and wisdom.

If you find yourself curious about these kinds of topics - join a workshop, a retreat, or any other event on offer.

Looking forward to sharing yoga with you in September.

Wishing everyone peace and happiness,

Oren

♡

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