The D Word

Dear Friend,

I hope you are well, enjoying the blossoming colors of spring. I know how easy it is to get lost in the flow of daily tasks and endeavors, to be ever so occupied with digital devices and content, to miss out on the vibrant living world around us. These days I try and make a point to look around, notice the shape of the moon right after sunset, strangers passing me by on the street, the murmur of the leaves as the wind blows, the texture of the sidewalk below my feet, the sound of birds right after dawn, light reflecting on muddy water, and even an occasional broken glass or cigarette bud on the pavement. Being in that present receptive state is very rewarding, it opens up a channel of curiosity that isn't available when I'm lost is daily life tasks and habits, it brings a sense of calm presence. Making this a daily practice, even as short as walking to the train station or grocery store, makes a big difference. If you decide to try it out, let me know how it felt!

This month I would like to bring up a real crowd pleaser of a topic - Death!

I always found birthdays to be casual, never understood why celebrate being one year closer to the end, although there is no reason to feel bad about it either. It is just another day on the continuum towards the inevitable conclusion. However, if I'm honest, I do feel an internal shift every year around my birthday, though not necessarily on the day of. It can appear in different ways but it always seems to be there around that time, maybe it's just a coincidence. This year, very soon, I will turn 50, which is just a round number and doesn't really mean anything, but it is yet another reminder that I am definitely in the midst of the second half of the game. It's a bit of a cliché, but I think many people can relate to an experience of dissonance when looking at the mirror and seeing an old face while at the same time feeling youthful beneath obvious visual evidence of decay. What is often elusive is that getting older is an ongoing process, one that happens every moment of our life, and yet most of us only notice it when it hits us like a flash of lightening. Our brain doesn't seem to grasp these small and subtle changes, we tend to only perceive them when they accumulate to a point of being very evident.

This is one of the foundational teachings of yoga, the notion of embodied mortality, or facing the transitory nature of life, the fact that we are growing older by the second and that death is coming in some unknown future. Recognizing impermanence everywhere and embracing it is how we know that our yoga practice actually works. The ground base of a contemplative spiritual life is developing an honest and accepting relationship with this ultimate truth, one that leads to peace and happiness rather than dread or denial. The most challenging aspect of this embodied realization is holding the knowledge that it's not only us that are impermanent, it's also our loved ones.

In the Yoga Sutras, the most important text written about yoga about 2000 years ago, it is said to be the most difficult obstacle a yogi has to overcome, which is called in Sanskrit, the ancient language of India, abhinivesha, commonly interpreted as clinging to life, or fear of death. It is the fifth and final Klesha, affliction or poison, that which causses unnecessary psychological suffering (dukkha).

The insight that embracing our own immortality is necessary in order to live life in peace was not only part of the teachings of yoga, it was also a major part of other schools of thought originated in India such as Buddhism, it was also emphasized as part of more universal philosophies such as Stoicism that was prominent in ancient Greece and Rome. Stoic teachings recommend that we contemplate our death regularly, not in a bleak or depressive way but rather as a reminder to live every day as though it is our last, so that we can maximize our potential to live well. The concept of living well in not at all obvious, it requires some diligent studying and self-reflection to realize what actually brings deep lasting joy and fulfillment and what only leads to fleeting moments of pleasure. They can often be vastly different. 

Yoga teachings prescribe a more patient gradual process. The suggestion is to start noticing impermanence in simple things like the changing seasons and weather, or the arising and disappearing of bodily sensations, or even the fluctuating thoughts, moods and other mind states. While we face the temporary nature of every experience or phenomena, big or small, we also want to cultivating a state of equanimity, of ease and steadiness of mind, and then, over time, with effective meditation, we start to let go of the unconscious attachment to our own life. It is said that once we let go of this strong hold, we achieve ultimate freedom from everything that causes us inner distress, and then we can enjoy the blissful radiant state of undisturbed inner peace and harmony.

Unfortunately there is one important factor that ancient yogis were not aware of, which is evolution. It is quite clear that our ingrained drive to avoid death (for dear life) has been deeply imprinted in us through this powerful force of nature for millions of years as only those who survived and reproduced got to pass their genes to the next generation. Overcoming our innate biology is a tall task, maybe even close to impossible. Many people feel dread or strong aversion, often physical, when confronting the finite nature of life from a subjective point of view. Some may react slightly different, either suppressing it with humor, melancholia, or anger, or any other response that avoids letting it sink in. I suspect that an all encompassing resolution of this strong fear is not in most people's cards, it is a fear that is not like other fears, it often feels as though it is touching at our core. And yet, we can reduce the tension and contraction that it brings by simply learning how to face it, how to hold it without escaping or pushing away. Even a small step in that direction can be life changing.

When the conditions are right, we can reflect on our mortality and simply observe the reaction that arises, we may feel some physical or mental tension, something like a knot in the stomach, we may even feel numb or foggy. If we get overwhelmed, we simply back off and engage is something else, distract ourselves. The more we allow these thoughts and emotions to surface into the conscious mind, even for a short occasional moment, the more they begin to lose some of their grip, although they never fully goes away. The practice is to simply hold it, without pushing it away, without getting lost in it, letting the sensations or any other feel sense be, until it starts to dissolve or at least weaken a bit. If it doesn't after a minute or two, we stop and move on.

There is another practice that I find very useful, particularly as a form of antidote to any negative impact that comes from facing difficult realizations of impermanence. This kind of practice is also prescribed in the Yoga Sutras and is called pratiprakṣa bhāvana, cultivating positive opposing thoughts. We can remind ourselves that the mere fact that we are alive is nothing short of a miracle, the chances of that happening is give or take one in 400 trillion, a probability that is very hard to grasp. An appropriate response to this simple fact should be something like awe and gratitude, and if possible avoid taking it for granted. We have been given a tremendously precious gift, valuable beyond belief, which begs to raise the question how we can make the best out of it without letting ourselves fall into patterns of guilt, regret, self-blame or pressure, or any other burden that may come from this reminder.

Yoga philosophy claims that taking good care of this gift should include living an examined life, one that leads to inquiries into the essence of who we are, working towards gradually coming out of unnecessary psychological suffering or patterns of unsatisfactoriness, learning how to love well and doing our best not to harm other beings, developing kindness and compassion and being of real service to others without seeking self-serving rewards, and if possible, moving through life with an open and courageous heart, letting down the guards despite the risk of getting hurt, and simply letting life unfold, without rejecting or clinging, greeting it with the radiant light of our authentic self.

Or maybe having a lot of fun, eating lots of good food, and dancing all night will do it Whatever works!

Ending with a famous Mr. Spock greeting.

May you all live long and prosper!

If you find yourself curious about these kinds of topics - join a workshop, a retreat, or any other event on offer.

Looking forward to sharing yoga with you in April.

Wishing everyone peace and happiness,

Oren

♡

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https://mailchi.mp/cc2b5364f031/march22yogainperson-9253088