The House Holder Dilemma
Dear Friend,
I hope you are well, letting the sun bath your skin, enjoying its nourishing warmth and energy.
I have recently taken over the lovely yoga studio that I have been offering my classes in for the past 3 or so years, Sarasvati Yoga Berlin. It's been a long time since I ran a yoga studio and I am very excited about all the potential it can have in expanding my yoga offerings, but it also presents some challenges such as a long to-do list, financial risks, bureaucracy, administration and all that great stuff ;-) Overall I am quite happy with this project and look forward to what comes next!
This whole thing made me reflect again on the relationship between yoga practice and living the life of a "house holder", which is a term used in India to describe someone who engages in the so called material life - a job, a house, traditionally also a family, and all the roles, possessions and duties that come with them. This term was originally coined to contrast the way spiritual seekers and practitioners used to live which is in remote monasteries or as recluses outside of society, avoiding worldly distractions on the path to spiritual liberation from ordinary suffering (dukkha).
I have occasionally contemplated retreating long-term to some place where I can spend my days meditating in silence. After spending a few times on 10-20 day meditation retreats I can clearly see the immense benefits they can bring and the transformational qualities that come with them. Devoting my time to such an endeavor is very tempting, however, I made a conscious decision to live a different life for the time being and try and follow the yoga path in so called "real life" situations which have much value as well, and also do my part in sharing the practice and its gifts with other "house holders". For now I am keeping this plan in a raincheck mode.
The theme of living as a "house holder" who is also a yoga practitioner keeps popping up in different stages of my life, the main challenge that it brings comes in the context of practicing yama and niyama (yoga at the level of relationship and attitude). The foundation of any effective yoga practice is being a kind, honest, ethical human being. You can't really be enlightened and an asshole at the same time!
The other major challenge relates to managing pressure and even stress that come from dealing with worldly difficulties and temptations.
The formal practice, whether asana (yoga postures and movements), pranayama (yoga breathing), or meditation (preferably all of them), can obviously help in developing tools that we can use when facing the above mentioned challenges. We can then observe the workings of the mind, witnessing negative patterns that arise, and then with equanimity, non-judgment, and mindfulness these patterns start to release their grip. When we notice our reactive tendencies in real-time we seem to grow a super power of letting them go at will. This is very useful in moments when we feel stress or an urge to act or react in a (self)harmful way.
There is a big misconception about what being spiritually evolved really is and what it appears to be, some people imagine it as a fluffy condition where one is in a state of on-going "it's all good man", continuously smiling to the world as though nothing is difficult and everything is cool and easy. That is definitely not the case, and if anything I would say it leans more in the direction of recognizing that life is full of peaks, valleys and plateaus. Progressing in yoga means that we are able to see reality closer to what it really is, and very often it reveals itself as far from being ideal but rather full of difficulty and hardship as well as pleasure and ease. Life is a plate full of mixed flavored dishes.
Very often we may realize that there are bad intentions around us, whether people who carry ill will towards us, or companies and corporations, or even governments who are driven by greed, power, ignorance, and jealousy. A true yogi faces reality in a pragmatic way, recognizing all forces, good, bad and all colors in between, and reacting to them appropriately with the intention of minimizing their harm to others and self. This is what truly living yoga looks and feels like.
Very often we need to take a strong action, maybe even fight back when we are harmed. If someone tries to steal from us we don't just surrender and let them have their way, unless at that moment there is sincere clarity that the person stealing is in real need and is driven by distress, and we are able to give them what they need lovingly without sacrificing ourselves or our loved ones. It's very unlikely that this specific scenario may happen but if we are able to see reality as it is at that moment, and the ego does not hijack the situation, all options are on the table, we don't get stuck in automatic reactivity.
I discovered from years of practice that there is another quality that is cultivated when we practice sincerely and with consistency which is a profound realization that fundamentally nothing really matters. I don't mean that in some dark, nihilistic, defeated way, but rather that at the heart of all experience, in every condition and phenomena, there is the essence of impermanence - everything is temporary, nothing lasts. This realization may bring one to depression or apathy, but with the right practice it actually leads to the exact opposite direction. We can then cherish the real value of each thing we face without clinging to it, we can celebrate life without expecting it to last forever or fit some image that we idealize, we can do things whole heartedly and let go of attachment to their outcomes, being completely fulfilled with doing for the sake of doing (karma yoga).
When we face a difficulty or hardship, on the surface level we may feel stressed or worried, we may feel burdened or even sad. These are all very natural and potentially healthy patterns that keep us protected and help maintain good boundaries. But at the same time, under the surface, at the root level of our being, there is a true and harmonious connection to the nature of all things as transitory changing phenomena. That creates a calm foundation similar to still water under the wavy surface of the ocean.
Easier said than done!
It all starts with paying attention the next time we are confronted with a challenge of any kind, noticing what comes up without judgment or self-evaluation. We then embrace this internal reaction with an open heart and at the same time simply let it go, letting it pass whenever its ready to move on, trying not to keep it longer than its natural shelf life. We can also remind ourselves that everything that ever happened to us and every experience we ever went through went away at some point or morphed into something else. Perhaps this reminder can help us find more ease.
If you find yourself curious about these kinds of topics - join a workshop, a retreat, or any other event on offer.
Looking forward to sharing yoga with you in August.
Wishing everyone peace and happiness,
Oren
♡
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